EPL Predictions: Kyle is back with picks you should never bet on.

By, Kyle Gibson

I always mention that it’s hit and miss for me to post blogs during the semester. I think I’ve been missing for about a month and a half now. 

Here are my picks for this week. I’ll try to stay around a little bit more. If you see me throw in a bonus, it’s something I have no proof will happen but still want to mention. I operate on hunches. 

Bournemouth 1-0 Newcastle

After all this time, I still want to believe! Here’s the thing, though. Bournemouth played very well in the second half against Southampton in last week’s 2-0 loss. If you erase the 22-27th minutes, the score would have been 0-0. This team needs a win and has to take advantage of ALL its remaining home matches. Additionally, this is the longest trip that any team has to make to play another in the entire football league. 

Kyle’s note: I gave you more tha I ever thought I would on Bournemouth vs Newcastle. I normally like to keep these short, but I ain’t taking anything out of that one. 

West Ham 2-1 Everton

A bit of a bogey game for Everton, who flew high against bottom scrapers Sunderland in a 6-2 win. I think overconfidence here will lead to incompetence and complacency in this match. 

Bonus: Payet scores from a free kick. 

Leicester City 2-0 Watford

Watford has been hot, which I love. I like a promoted team doing well. Last week, Andy Carroll defended like I did in a 8-0 loss to Hurricane Middle School and surrendered a crap goal. I think that luck runs out against the Foxes, who look like a really trendy French or German team when they play in front of the King Power stadium fans. I love a crowd that dresses in black. 

Norwich City 1-1 Swansea City

The days of Swansea thrilling the league seem so long ago. Both teams really need a win here and often that results in a draw.

Bonus: Late equalizer here…probably from the home team (Norwich).

Sunderland 1-0 Southampton

He said what!?? I know Sunderland lost 6-2 last week, but that makes Big Sam Allardyce even hungrier (hard to do) to get this damn thing right and save the club. To my dismay, I think that means no more DeAndre Yedlin. He’s probably going to stick a brick wall at right back. Southampton ain’t the best on the road. 

Bonus: Jermain Defoe lucky goal FTW

Manchester United 2-1 West Brom

I’m so nervous suggesting that United can score two goals here. West Brom’s big boy Rondon can head the ball with the ferocity of a cannon. I seriously think he scores. Even though I also think Saido Berahino is auditioning for his future club. (I’m the last person that still plays manager mode on FIFA. I’m 12 years into my career with United on FIFA 15. I bought Berahino for cheap and built him into a worldie. FIFA (the game, not the organization) don’t lie, right?

Bonus: Wayne Rooney eats three hot dogs at halftime and scores the winner. 

Stoke City 1-0 Chelsea

This is the biggest crisis in Chelsea’s 12 year history. With Jose Mourinho serving a stadium ban, let’s pause and think about the ways that he could somehow infiltrate the stadium. 

– Blackface, because he has already shown he’s tactless.

– False ID: “Yes, my name really is Joe S.A. Marino. I’m the most special one in all of Colchester.” 

– Fatsuit: I keep giggling at this one. I just think he would do it. In his mind, he wouldn’t realize he’s making himself even more noticeable. 

Aston Villa 0-3 Manchester City

The worst game to introduce your new manager. 

Bonus: Sterling notches a goal and an assistant. 

Liverpool 2-1 Crystal Palce

Palace is really good on the road, but I think Klopp is now primed for his first Kop victory. 

Arsenal 0-1 Tottenham

Biggest game of the weekend. I don’t know why I think this scoreline. Like I said though, I operate on hunches. 

Have your say in the comment section! 

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