By, Kyle Gibson
The EPL is back. No more do we have to watch the U.S. Men’s team disappoint us like our children. No more do we have to pretend we care about Iceland. It’s time for good, old fashioned (less old fashioned with Sam Allardyce gone) Premier League football!
I think the last time I did this I was 7-3. Let’s hope for the same this week.
Everton 1-2 Chelsea
Teams lose at home more these days, but I think Everton would lose this one anyway. The fans will be real pissed that Chelsea tried to steal their young talisman John Stones. Bonus: These Everton fans singing “Money Can’t Buy You Stones” is gleeful, smart and shows that Americans still have a ways to go in the clever chant department.
Arsenal 2-1 Stoke
Keeping with that 2-1 scoreline. Stoke is reeling a bit and will have Affelay and Adam missing after their straight red meltdowns last time out. Bonus: Alexis Sanchez scores a pretty one.
Crystal Palace 1-3 Manchester City
Palace are one of my favorite teams here recently. I still don’t think they can match the pure power and skill that City can now deploy. They are freaks. If they don’t reach the Champions League semis, there’s perhaps a problem.
Norwich 1-0 Bournemouth
Cherries youngster Tyrone Mings has been ruled out for the season, a big blow for a young talent and expensive buy over the summer. I think Norwich wins for their awesome home fans.
Watford 0-2 Swansea
Watford is not an impressive team. Swansea is very impressive. Bonus: EPL Player of the Month Andre Ayew will grab another goal AND an assist.
West Brom 1-1 Southampton
West Brom NEEDS a result. I think they will score early and concede late.
Manchester United 2-1 Liverpool
England king Wayne Rooney will feel buoyant after breaking the country’s goal record. I think he finally adds to his EPL tally here.
Sunderland 1-0 Spurs
Hahahahahahahahahaha That’s So spursy!
Leicester 2-0 Aston Villa
Can’t bet against Leicester right now.
West Ham 1-1 Newcastle
Both of these teams are probably better than last year, but both teams can also look like crap. Newcastle still doesn’t have a win. Expect that to continue here. As far as Monday soccer games go, I won’t feel bad missing this one for class.
What are your predictions? Come on then…let’s hear them in the comments!